It took us almost a month to pick a full name for Elizabeth. Because we were expecting an older child, we planned to keep her Chinese name as her first name and give her an American middle name that somehow honored her and her new heritage but also one that worked with her first name. So we were waiting to meet her before we chose a name.
Elizabeth is my mom's first name and Jean is Larry's mom's middle name. We lost our moms shortly before we started our adoption journey. But during the three-year wait to get our daughter, these names never seemed to fit the child that was growing in our hearts.
During the wait, we read all about naming an adopted child and how important it is to preserve her given name. Even if it were given by orphanage staff and/or the person who found her. We learned that research shows that even very young babies recognize their name when it's presented. And we learned that naming is about identity and association with her past. Choosing a new one suggests that the child's past should vanish, one more loss the child should not have to bear. We didn't want to send this message to our daughter.
We resisted the impulse to forget about all of this and just name her. But as the weeks progressed through prayer and research into the meaning of names including her Chinese name, which we at first mistakenly thought was associated with a beast, we became more comfortable with the name Elizabeth Jean LuNian. Lu Nian is her Chinese given name. And while we still have somewhat of a heavy heart about our decision, it seems right.
We will make the transition to her new name slowly and in our family we will preserve her Chinese name in a special way. Our hope is for Elizabeth Jean LuNian to hold onto her past as she grows into our family and her future. And of course, as she does so, we'll give her a chance to be part of the decision as to what she'll be called. It will be fun to see what she comes up with!
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